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Therapy for Addictions & Compulsive Behavior

Alcoholism, Substance Misuse & Compulsive Behavior Support in West Malling, Kent, Surrey & Online

Sometimes the things we turn to for comfort, escape, control, or relief slowly begin to take up more space in our lives than we ever intended. That might be alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, spending, exercise, or something that started as a way of coping and now feels hard to stop.

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You might not be sure whether what you’re dealing with is an addiction, substance misuse, a bad habit, or just “something you should be able to get under control by now”. Many people also carry a lot of shame or confusion about their behaviour, especially when they can see the impact it’s having but still feel drawn back to it.

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I use words like addiction and addict here because that’s what many people search for when they’re looking for help. In practice, we can use whatever language feels right for you. What matters is understanding what’s going on underneath and finding a way forward that fits your life.

Derek Flint Therapeutic Counselling provides support for your mental health and wellbeing with extensive experience and additional training helping clients with  Alcohol and Drug Misuse, Sexually Compulsive Behavior, Men and Mental Health, and Couples Counselling in West Malling, Kent ; Carshalton, Surrey and Online.

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Questions people often ask before reaching out

People often arrive on this page after typing questions into Google or ChatGPT like:

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  • Why do I feel guilty after drinking or using drugs?

  • Is my behaviour an addiction or just a coping mechanism?

  • Why do I binge on drugs, alcohol, sex, or spending?

  • Is cocaine / ketamine / alcohol really that bad for me?

  • Do some people have addictive personalities?

  • How do I stop compulsive spending or gambling?

  • Have I got an addiction?

  • How can I cut down or stop without losing control completely?

  • Is Diazepam addictive?

  • What helps addictions?

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You don’t need clear answers to these questions before starting therapy. Often, the work is about making sense of them together.

How I help with addictions and compulsive behavior

I work with individuals, young people, and partners affected by addiction, substance misuse, and compulsive behaviours. Some people come wanting to stop completely and want help getting sober. Others want to reduce, regain control, or understand why they keep repeating the same patterns. We don’t start with a fixed goal. We work it out together based on what you want to achieve.

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My approach and how I help addictions and compulsive behaviour is as a symptom of something else, not the problem in itself. That might include understanding trauma, negative experiences, stress, difficulty with emotional regulation, being confused as to who we are, or learned coping strategies that once helped but no longer do.

I use an approach looking at you holistically including:

  • what’s happening in your body

  • emotional and psychological patterns

  • relationships, environment, and social influences

Depending on what’s helpful, I may draw on:

  • motivational interviewing

  • solution-focused therapy

  • attachment-based work

  • schema therapy

  • more traditional talking therapy approaches

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There’s no single model that works for everyone. My approach adapts to best suit you.

Substance use, addiction & behaviour I work with

I support people experiencing a wide range of addictions, substance misuse, and compulsive behaviour, including:

Alcohol & Drugs

  • alcohol addiction or problem drinking

  • cocaine, ketamine, cannabis, and other substances

  • binge patterns and loss of control

  • relapse prevention and recovery support
     

Compulsive & Behavioural Addictions

  • gambling and online betting addiction

  • compulsive spending or shopping

  • internet or phone use

  • bad porn use, sexually compulsive behaviour, sex and love addiction

  • relationship co dependency 
     

Emotional Coping Patterns

  • compulsive exercise

  • perfectionism and overworking

  • procrastination or avoidance

  • rigid routines or obsessive habits

  • fear of failure or rejection

Support during and after rehab

I work with people at different stages of recovery, including:

  • before entering rehab and how to get sober

  • alongside outpatient or community support

  • after leaving residential treatment
     

This can include help with:

  • maintaining sobriety

  • navigating relapse without spiralling into shame

  • adjusting to life after rehab – help to stay sober

  • rebuilding routine, identity, and relationships

  • sober coaching support meaning sobriety continues
     

If residential rehab or additional services are needed, I can help you work through options and next steps in a practical way.

12-step programmes and therapy

I have lived experience of 12-step recovery and understand how programmes like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, and related groups work in real life, not just in theory.

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This means I can support people who:

  • already attend 12-step meetings

  • are returning after relapse to get sober

  • want therapy alongside a 12-step programme

  • feel unsure or conflicted about the 12-step approach
     

The programme is never the sole focus of therapy unless you want it to be. It’s something we can work with, around, or alongside.

Practicalities: how sessions work

I offer therapy face to face in and around West Malling, and work with clients across Kent, Surrey, and online.

Sessions can be in person, online, or a combination of both.

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Therapy doesn’t have to be weekly to be meaningful. I work flexibly around finances, work and study, and family commitments.

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Some people work short term with a specific focus. Others choose longer-term support. We decide this together and review it as life changes.

A note on safety and urgent support

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If substance use or behaviour is putting your physical safety at risk, urgent medical or emergency support may be needed alongside therapy. I can also help you explore additional services, including residential rehab, community support, or specialist services where appropriate.

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Therapy doesn’t have to be the only support you use, and you don’t have to navigate these decisions alone.

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Couple with child
Support for Partners, Families & Loved Ones

Loving someone who is struggling with addiction, substance misuse, or compulsive behaviour can be exhausting and confusing. Many partners and family members find themselves constantly scanning for signs, managing crises, or questioning whether they’re overreacting or not doing enough. Over time, it can start to feel as though the addiction has taken over your life too.

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Therapy for partners and loved ones offers a space that is just for you. A place to talk honestly about anger, fear, guilt, loyalty, grief, and hope, without being told what you should do. We can explore how addiction has affected trust, boundaries, communication, and your sense of safety, and work towards ways of responding that protect your wellbeing as well as the relationship.

People often seek support while searching:
 

  • How do I help my partner with addiction without enabling them?

  • Why do I feel anxious, angry, or resentful all the time?

  • Should I stay or leave a relationship affected by addiction?

  • How do I support someone in recovery after relapse?

  • How do I stop addiction from controlling our family life?
     

This work can be short term or ongoing, offered face to face in West Malling, across Kent and Surrey, or online. You don’t need your partner to be in therapy themselves for this support to be helpful.

Addiction & Compulsive Behavior - Support for Young People

Young people today are growing up with unprecedented access to substances, online content, gambling-style apps, and constant pressure to perform, connect, and cope. For some, alcohol, drugs, sex, gaming, spending, or other behaviours become a way to manage stress, anxiety, trauma, or a sense of not fitting in.

I work with young people who may be questioning their use, getting into trouble, or feeling stuck in patterns they don’t fully understand yet. Therapy offers a confidential, non-judgemental space to talk openly, without being labelled or forced into decisions before they’re ready.

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The focus is on understanding what the behaviour is doing for them, what it’s costing them, and what other options might exist. This might include:

  • substance misuse and binge patterns

  • compulsive behaviours and online use

  • emotional regulation and impulse control

  • identity, shame, and self-esteem

  • family and relationship pressures
     

Parents and carers are often involved where appropriate, but the young person’s voice, autonomy, and safety remain central.

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Young people and parents often search:

  • Is my drinking or drug use a problem?

  • Why can’t I stop once I start?

  • Am I addicted or just going through a phase?

  • How do I help my teenager with the effect of ketamine?

  • When should I be worried about my child’s binge drinking?
     

Sessions can be offered face to face, online, or in a hybrid way, with flexibility around frequency to fit school, college, work, and family life.
 

If you want to find out more about how therapy can help, arrange a free initial consultation by filling out the contact form clicking this link here.

Happy Couple
Taking the first step

You don’t need to be sure you’re an addict, ready to quit, or clear about what you want before reaching out. Many people start therapy simply because something doesn’t feel right anymore.

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If you’re affected by addiction or compulsive behaviour, either personally or as a partner or family member, support is available. We can start with a conversation and take it from there.

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