Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Therapy
Therapy for Compulsive Sexual Behaviour
Therapy doesn’t change who you are. It helps you understand yourself well enough to live more honestly.
The sections below explore different forms of compulsive sexual behaviour, including sex addiction, problematic porn use, findom and unwanted online sexual behaviours, with links to more detailed information and support.
Compulsive Sexual Behaviour - How I Can Help
I’m Derek Flint, an experienced addictions therapist and counsellor. I’ve worked with addiction and related patterns of compulsive behaviour for over a decade.
I bring lived experience of addiction and recovery into my work, alongside additional training in compulsive sexual behaviour, porn addiction, sex addiction, and online sexual behaviour and findom.
Many people come to therapy feeling stuck in sexual behaviours they have tried repeatedly to change, often carrying shame or the belief that they should be able to manage it alone. Understanding what is driving the behaviour can help make sense of the pattern and create a foundation for meaningful change.
I also provide specific support for partners and relatives affected by the discovery of compulsive sexual behaviour, porn use, sex addiction or findom.
If you are unsure whether therapy is the right next step, you can complete one of the short self-assessments for compulsive sexual behaviour, findom, problematic porn use or cross-addiction.
If you are looking for information and resources rather than therapy, click here.
Find out more about me here.
Help for Compulsive Sexual Behaviour
Sometimes sexual behaviour can start to feel out of control or at odds with how you want to live. You may be:
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spending more time or money on sexual behaviour than you intended
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trying to stop or cut back, but finding yourself returning to it
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keeping things hidden or feeling a growing sense of secrecy
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noticing an impact on your relationships or day-to-day life
You may find yourself repeating patterns you do not fully understand, even when part of you wants things to change. Therapy can help you make sense of what is driving those patterns and begin finding a way forward that feels more in line with the life you want.
If you are unsure what may be going on, you can also complete a short confidential compulsive sexual behaviour self-assessment, findom self-assessment or problematic porn use self-assessment. These are not diagnostic, but they may help you build a clearer picture of what you are experiencing.
The sections below explore sex addiction, problematic porn use, findom and other online sexual behaviours, with links to more detailed information and support.
When pornography use becomes a problem
Pornography use affects people differently. For some, it may not feel problematic at all. For others, it can begin to escalate, feel difficult to control, or affect intimacy, confidence, or day-to-day life.
If you want more information you can use this confidential porn use self-assessment to decide what to do next.
If pornography has started to feel like a problem, therapy can help you understand the urges, make sense of the pattern, and begin making changes that last. Read more about porn addiction counselling here.
Financial Domination | Therapy & Help with Findom
Financial domination, often shortened to findom, can become difficult when it starts feeling compulsive, secretive, financially harmful, or hard to control. Therapy can help you understand what may be driving the behaviour, reduce shame, and begin making changes that feel more manageable and realistic. If you aren't sure whether you need help yet, there is a confidential self-assessment for Findom here. It isn't diagnostic but may help you decide what to do next. Read more about findom help here
When sexual behaviour starts to feel out of control
Sex is a healthy and important part of adult life, but for some people it can begin to feel difficult to manage. You may find yourself engaging in sexual behaviour in ways that feel compulsive, secretive, or out of proportion to what you actually want. This may involve in-person sexual behaviour or online activity such as webcams and subscription websites.
If you want more information to guide you, use this confidential sexual activity self-assessment to help you think about whether your behaviour may be becoming problematic and what you want to do next.
If this feels familiar, therapy can help you understand the patterns involved and what may sit underneath them. Read more about sex addiction therapy and how counselling can help.
Partner & Family Recovery Support
Therapy for Partners and Families Affected by Pornography, Compulsive Sexual Behaviour or Findom
You may not be the person struggling with the behaviour, but you may be living with the consequences.
While one person may be working to change their behaviour, partners and family members are often trying to make sense of what has happened, rebuild trust where appropriate, establish healthy boundaries and decide what they need moving forward.
Discovering that someone you love is struggling with problematic pornography use, compulsive sexual behaviour or Findom can leave you feeling hurt, confused and unsure what to do next. Therapy can help you make sense of what has happened, understand your own needs and decide what comes next for you, your family or your relationship.
You Don’t Have to Work This Out on Your Own — read more about partner and family support here.
Online Sexual Behaviours
Technology has transformed the way we experience sex, intimacy and relationships. For most people, online sexual behaviours are a healthy part of modern life. But if they begin to affect your wellbeing, relationships or sense of control, it may be time to look beneath the behaviour rather than simply trying to stop it.
Read more about online sexual behaviours and technology
A Way Forward
If you're ready to understand what's happening and begin making changes, therapy can help. I offer in-person counselling in Kent and online therapy across the UK and internationally, subject to local requirements.
My approach is sex-positive, non-judgemental and based on understanding before change. I don't see a sexual interest, fantasy or behaviour as a problem simply because it exists. What matters is what it means to you, whether it fits with your values, and whether it's causing distress, unwanted consequences or getting in the way of the life and relationships you want.
Together, we can understand what the behaviour has been doing for you and work towards greater choice and change that fits your life and your values.
You can get in touch for an informal conversation or use the WhatsApp button to arrange a free initial telephone consultation.
If you're looking for useful resources rather than therapy click here
Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation
Taking the first step can feel difficult. If you're unsure whether therapy is right for you, we can arrange a free 15-minute consultation by phone.
There is no obligation to book therapy afterwards. It simply gives us an opportunity to discuss what is bringing you here, answer any questions you may have, and see whether we are a good fit to work together.
You can get in touch in whichever way suits you:
📞 Call, text or WhatsApp : 07498 857698
✉️ E-Mail me
📅 Book a Free Initial Consultation Directly
All enquiries are treated confidentially.
Can Sex and Porn Really Be Addictive?
If you’re searching for help with porn addiction or sexual behaviour that feels out of control, you do not need a clear diagnosis or label before reaching out. People use different terms, including porn addiction, sex addiction, compulsive sexual behaviour and Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD). There is ongoing professional debate about how these difficulties should be described, and the terms are not interchangeable in a diagnostic sense. The ICD-11 recognises Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder as an impulse-control disorder rather than a behavioural addiction. At the same time, terms such as “porn addiction” and “sex addiction” remain widely used by people trying to describe experiences that feel difficult to control. In therapy, the terminology is less important than understanding what is happening for you: whether the behaviour feels difficult to manage, whether it is causing distress or unwanted consequences, and what you would like to change. You may also see terms such as “treatment” or “cure” used online. I use some of this language on the site because it reflects what people commonly search for, but my therapeutic approach is not based on applying a simple label or cure. It focuses on understanding your experience and helping you work towards meaningful and sustainable change.